Keep it Simple

When it comes to parenting, it can feel like anything, but simple. It can feel like a constant swirling tornado craziness, but let me put it simply for you when it comes to discipline. Discipline is one of the most difficult challenges in parenting, because every situation and every child is different, but let me simplify it for you with these 3 steps.

When your child does something that they should not do or that you prefer them not do start with a boundary.

1. Boundaries should be clear and should never move. So let's say your child is going up the slide at the park and you don't want them to go up the slide. So first you will look at them and clearly tell them, you may not go up the slide, you may go down the slide but not up it. So you tell them what they can't do, and what they can do. If they are old enough, tell them to repeat back to you what you just said. This makes it clear what the boundary is. Then you want to set up a consequence if that boundary is pushed.

2. Consequences will vary depending on your child and their age, but it's extremely important to go ahead and tell them what will happen if they cross the boundary you just set. The consequence should be something that they will be very unhappy about and that will affect them personally. So you may say "you may not go up the slide. You can go down the slide. If you go up the slide again you have to sit out for 5 minutes." Next we need the follow through.

3. So lets say that you did both of these first two steps and now your child fully understands the boundary, the consequence and still goes right up the slide the next time they run past it. Okay mom, now it's time to follow through. So now you say "Mama told you to not go up the slide or you would have to sit out. You went up the slide again so now you have to sit out." Then pick them up and sit them out. Follow through is one of the most important hardest parts. Not necessarily because you don't want to follow through, but because it's usually extremely inconvenient, will most likely cause a scene, and honestly we just forget what we said would happen or we get distracted with another kid or with a conversation we're having with another mom, and the list goes on.

Here's the thing though, if we can do these 3 steps you will get results very quickly, with pretty much any age child and any kind of child. Yes all kids are different, but they all need these 3 things from you when it comes to parenting. Our job is to raise them to live in a world that works exactly this way. They have to either learn it now or learn it later when it is real consequences, that will affect their lively hood. When you feel out of control or like your kids are out of control, or like all you do is nag and yell at them, then you are missing one of these steps. Let's keep it simple and do these 3 steps for our kids and for our family to be peaceful and obedient children that will one day grow up to be productive people in the world.